The suspense is killing me!

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Okay so I’d like to think that I am a fairly rational and level headed person, right?  Then why the hell can I not stop thinking of the photos that Andrea Falco took yesterday and checking my inbox like a total stalker?  I know they may not even be used by the agency – so what?  So what is it then?  When I try to rationalize my feelings, I say to myself…. you know it would be really nice to have a really beautiful photo of the kids and me (poor hubby was working so he didn’t get to sit with us), and that is why I can’t wait to get these photos.  But the truth is that that is total bullshit.  Besides, my dear friend Joanne Termine gave me a gift certificate months ago to get a family photo at the Picture People and if my rationalizing was correct, I would have run out and used it already (Someone please remind me to in the Spring!)

Anywho, where was I?  Oh yeah, why am I like a 5 year old waiting anxiously for photos?  I have tons of photos of my kids.  I get to look at them every day live and in the flesh.  So what is it?  Another photograph of my kids?  I think it’s more than that.  Maybe I just need to be validated again that my daughter (and son as well) are really just beautiful children inside and out and that they really do take special pictures.  But why the need for validation?   You know, I look on website after website, magazine after magazine.  Beautiful children are all over the place.  All children are beautiful!  I get it.  So what makes my kid any different?  Special?  Of course I am their mother and think they are fabulous.  But I AM THEIR MOTHER!  I don’t for a minute mistake how I see my children as the way the whole world perceives them.  Maybe I am just hoping that this new set of photos will tell me “Hey you don’t just think they are special because they are your kids… look these photos prove it… they really are fabulous!”

A bit indulgent I know, but so are wine and chocolate and neither of those are illegal.  In fact I just may go and indulge in some now!

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