THE GREEN EYED MONSTER ~ Sibling Rivalry

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This past week has been a whirlwind for our family. We got to sit with a photographer for some photos at Conference House Park in Tottenville, Staten Island. We spent the day in Manhattan shooting outdoors at various downtown locations, met with one of the top children’s modeling agencies, Generation Model Management, and then secured representation by that agency.

And while these things have affected our entire family, their entire focus is on our 5 year old daughter Sofia. Not so cool when you are her 11 year old brother.

11 years old is difficult enough without all the added fanfare surrounding your little sister. Aside from being only 5 years old when she was born, Giancarlo has had to deal with a lot of attention loss from early on. Sofia was born with anaphylactic food allergies, asthma, and eczema, and from the moment she was born has received what I am sure feels like a disproportionate amount of attention. It is hard to make him see that our measure of love is NOT disproportionate.

This got me thinking about what the excelling of one sibling can do to another and their self esteem. While searching for positive ways to reinforce and remind our son how much we love him, I came across the following poem, CHILDREN LIVE WHAT THEY LEARN which I wanted to share. It can be a great point of reference for parents whose child or children may be experiencing insecurity, jealousy or rivalry because of a sibling’s accomplishments. It is easy to get frustrated with the behavior of the jealous child, especially when the jealous child is older. This poem can really help us to make better decisions as parents. May we all take the time to nurture our children, for someday they may have to nurture us.

CHILDREN LIVE WHAT THEY LEARN

If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.

If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.

If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

~ Dorothy Law Nolte

4 responses »

  1. This is so perfect! Adriana has an 8 year old brother who is completely different than her. He is quiet, shy, more reserved. Ever since she has started in this business it has been a whirlwind of emotions. I constantly ask him if he would like to try this out but it’s just not his thing. He loves his sports. I make it a point to make sure I’m at every game for him cheering him on. My fb can be flooded with things on his sisters work but that doesn’t mean we love him any less. I think it’s hard for people to understand unless they are in your shoes.

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